And I’ve Barely Scratched the Surface

Hey guys!

Four years ago, I don’t think I would’ve had the emotional capacity for wedding planning.

It’s so interesting how life happens. Entering my fourth year single, I don’t think I feel the way I probably thought I’d feel four years ago, thinking about me four years later.

I think my relationship status has so many meanings for so many people. Some might think, Oh my God, it’s time for this girl to settle down. Oh, it must be hard for her planning weddings and seeing love all day. Oh, she’s probably lonely.

So many thoughts are thrown at us as females, especially if you’re a female in your 30s and single. It’s not for the weak.

What are some things I’m thinking about?

Whenever the thought comes to my head about the last breakup I had, I thank God for it most of the time because it really brought out the badass in me.

I found joy in my career, and I’m now sitting in my dream role. I created a business literally out of nothing. I never thought about or considered owning anything. I haven’t once thought about my decision not to pursue medical school. I am in a financially stable place.

I’m in so many chapters of my life that I don’t think I could’ve stepped into if I was still in that relationship.

So even though breakups bring big heartbreak, they can also create a beast. And the kind of beast depends on how you choose to navigate the situation you’re leaving.

I’m all about the new and the present. I preach it to every client, every bride and groom, every vendor, friend, family, and myself of course.

In the latter years of my 20s, I was really adamant about living in the moment and cherishing life as much as I could, specifically after I went through a year of job searching and depression. Ironically, that was the busiest I was with events and weddings.

It felt like one part of my life was going well, but there were bits and pieces of my life that were yet to connect. And even now, some pieces of my puzzle are still missing.

But that doesn’t mean life stops.

It means continuing to do what you’re doing until that moment finds you. That moment that’ll be perfect for you.

While writing this, I think of brides the most. I think of all my clients the most.

In the days leading up to events or weddings, I always tell my clients: everything may not go according to the timeline, but the most important thing to do is enjoy the moment because it’s only going to happen once. This is the first time this moment will happen, and you cannot take it back.

Can you imagine spending thousands of dollars and putting in so much energy just to not mentally enjoy your day because you’re thinking about everything that’s going wrong or what couldn’t happen?

That’s just a waste of time.

That’s why it’s always important to choose someone who considers you and your feelings when it comes to handling special moments in your life. Whether it be your planner, your partner, best friend, maid of honor, photographer, or content creator.

It truly is that deep.

I’ll even share something with you. I have a lot of close friends, and I don’t think I can give anyone the title of “best friend.” I have close friends and friends I know I’ll grow old with, but that best friend title is so important to me and carries so much weight. I can’t give it to just anyone.

I actually did once, but we’re not even friends anymore... can’t be.

So I say all this to say, as I’m in my fourth year of being single, I don’t choose to harp on being sad that I’m single. I choose to look at the growth I’ve made in those four years.

Because guys, I truly could never have imagined that my life would be what it is now.

And I’ve barely scratched the surface.

I know my worth. I know my value. I know that I can do what I want because I can. I know that I’m smart. I’m a woman, a grown woman.

And as I’m stepping into my womanhood, I’m learning so much about myself: my wants, what I don’t want, and what I will no longer tolerate.

I have different teachers. My 9–5, my business, my intimate thoughts, social media, life... even creating this blog is a testimony of God’s grace over the past four years.

Not only am I articulate, I’m not dumb, and I can speak well.

Someone told me I spoke well, and it meant the most to me.

And I know why it does.