Showing Up at 62%

Hey guys!

Sighhh. I won’t lie, February was such an overwhelming month for me.

Even though it’s my favorite month (hello, birthday month!), and I had the most wonderful birthday trip to Aruba, things became tough shortly after. But that’s life, right? We can’t always have the ups without a few downs.

Balancing a full-time role as a business owner, a full-time 9–5, and taking care of myself, sleeping, working out, being present, chile… I was literally drowning.

February, my favorite month of the entire year, forced me to reflect on how I felt last October. And that reflection brought up something I don’t think we talk about enough as vendors.

Most, not all, but most clients don’t necessarily care if you’re having a rough day or struggling to balance responsibilities and life. They paid you to show up and deliver as their planner.

Last October, I lost one of my favorite uncles to cancer. It was one of the biggest losses I’ve ever experienced. And in the middle of multiple events and weddings, I found myself grieving while still trying to show up.

It was hard. Really hard.

A handful of clients were understanding and supportive during a time when I should have been there fully for them. But it was also made clear by others that my role as their planner was the priority. And honestly? That brought me back to this question:

How much can you really share as a vendor when you’re going through something bigger than yourself?

Because technically, our clients don’t have to care. They’re not paying us to mourn with us. They’re paying us to meet expectations and execute their vision.

It sounds harsh, but I think it’s one of the harder truths about being a business owner, life does not pause for your bad days.

Sometimes I think, should I share what I’m experiencing so they understand why I’m a day or two behind in responding? Should I explain why I forgot to spell check something or why my energy feels off?

After everything I experienced, what I usually do now is acknowledge it briefly. I’ll mention what’s going on without going too deep. Just enough context so they understand if I was out of pocket for a week or two, but not so much that it feels like they need to sympathize with me.

There’s a balance there.

I don’t want to create over-familiarity, but I also don’t want to pretend I’m a machine.

And in moments like this, I’ve learned that the best thing to do is lean on my higher power, in my case, the one and only Jesus Christ, and also lean on friends, family, and my team.

Having that support truly lightened the load I was carrying.

It makes it easier to show up, even if I’m showing up at 62%. At least I’m here. And my team has my back.

So instead of drowning, I can say that at the beginning of March, I’m still catching up (LOL). But I say that without guilt or pressure.

I am only human. I can only do my best.

Right now is tough. There are deadlines. Wedding season is approaching. Timelines need to be made. Emails need responses.

But the quiet season will come again.

And when it does, I will rest. I will celebrate myself. I will treat myself, because I am working my tail off.

So from one entrepreneur to another, from one human to another, take it easy on yourself.

There is something incredibly brave about showing up on days when you know you don’t have 100% to give.

And lean on the people who make you feel safe.

That’s what they’re there for.